Screams Never Heard
by MarineAstriella
Summary: Luna Lovegood is not what she seems. Damaged on the inside, her mother's death changed her. Her mind left this reality for a permanent nightmare. What can fix it? What has added to it? Read to find out! My first Harry Potter fanfic, please enjoy! -Marine
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hello, this is my first story in awhile, the first in the Harry Potter fandom. I hope you all enjoy! Also, this is not a poem, but rather an opening prologue to show what this is. All I have for this story is a vague idea, so any ideas are welcome, in reviews or PMs, which you are free to send. Constructive criticism is highly wanted, I would love to hear every honest thought you have. Please refrain from rude things though. Thank you!**

**Disclaimer- J.K. Rowling wrote the Harry Potter series with Luna and all basis of plot. I own nothing besides some of what happens in this, as it is my imagination writing this. **

* * *

I was there.

I was there when Mum died. I was there as she screamed. I was there as my father rushed in. I was there as they spoke at her funeral.

I was there.

Yet no one acknowledged my pain. No one saw the opaque tears fall on my cheeks, the first from my left eye- from pain.

Then at Hogwarts I couldn't come out of my stupor, my mind still damaged from when she died. The endless, shrill screams, the evil monsters no one saw. My ongoing nightmare.

And all I could think was that song they sang.

"Looney, looney luna

Mush for brains

Put in Ravenclaw

By mistake."

And running from the room she screamed. Shrilled, louder, more real than ever before.

And her screams turned to mine, the empty room on the seventh floor containing them. My room, my place of love.

I hid there through all the attacks. And that was where I belonged.

Alone to submit. Alone with screams of a dying mother. Alone with the cries of false monsters. Alone, alone...

And I cracked. The scars on my arms, my sickly pale, skinny body- all because of one tiny mistake years ago. One tiny, life changing mistake.

Where Luna Lovegood died and Loony the Mistake took over.

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**A/N: I hope this story was a great read to you, I'd love reviews, criticism, ideas, PMs, anything! I look forward to writing the rest of this! **

**-Marine**


	2. Chapter1: Small Mistakes That Ruin Lives

**A/N: Here is chapter 1! Starting with this chapter, I'll put a chapter summery at the start!**

**Chapter summery: Luna witnessed her mother's death- but it made her insane. Luna never knew why, but maybe you'll get it. And the screams... They always come on like the Cruciatus Curse. **

**Disclaimer: Anything you recognise is from Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 1: Small Mistakes That

Ruin Lives

My mum's death shouldn't have happened. The odds were in her favour, but of course, they lied.

She was trying out a new spell. It involved a potion. The potion was called Draught of Nightmares or something... I'm not quite sure.

Her spell she created was supposed to modify it to make it seem real, infest your kindly health for a few hours.

She wanted to show it to the minister, to use on Azkaban inhabitants. It was for a good cause... At least so we thought.

* * *

"Luna, dear. I want to warn you. I created this. It has never been used before, but it might backfire. Stand as far back as you can and cover your head, my love. I love you," Mum said.

I nodded.

"Nightmaratosis endlesspainal!"

An explosion.

Our screams mingled together, louder than any explosion.

"Luna, Luna I love you! Remember-"

But Mum was cut off. Running over, I kneeled. "Mum, mum wake up! Wake up please!"

But I couldn't keep yelling. Screams sounded as my head pounded. Loads if random flying animals flew over to us.

The pain... Oh, the pain!

Clutching my head, I leaned forward. Tears escaped as I clawed at my scalp, at my hair, at my ears- anything.

A sob escaped as my father ran over. "Luna, are you okay?"

As I nodded he checked for a pulse in my mother, a breath. But there was none. She was gone... Gone.

And I kept screaming into the night, the monsters kept flying, the pain clawed inside my head until I couldn't take it- I passed out cold.

* * *

"Luna, dear, breakfast!" Called my father.

August thirty- first, I thought. One more day until I go to school. My mother's school. Her safe haven, she called it.

I threw back the covers on my bed and went down to eat.

"Father, you have a nargle in your hair," I told him.

Reaching up, I brushed it away from his hair. I'd seen these monsters since Mum's death. They had been the flying monsters...

I quickly ate some hot cereal, them bolted upstairs as screaming filled my head.

I endured this screaming for fifteen long minutes, before it faded and I was left with a pounding head.

Packing my school trunk, I hummed. It was a Muggle song, called My Immortal. Some band by the name of Evanescence sang it.

Mum always sang it to me, along with other Muggle songs. She put them on something called a 'CD', listened to on my own 'CD Player'. I quite enjoyed it.

I fell asleep to the song Even Robots Need Blankets by Mayday Parade, also on the CD.

And then I had to face my first day at Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

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**A/N: Did you like it? No? Please review with honest thoughts! Thank you!**

**-Marine**


	3. Chapter2-TheSortingHatDoesntNoticeInsane

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to update, I had a brief period if Writer's Block and wanted to make this longer than the other chapters. I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I, sadly, am not J. K. Rowling, author and owner if Luna and the Harry Potter series, including the Weasleys, Neville, Hogwarts, McGonagall, and The Sorting Hat. **

**Warning: Luna is very moody and depressed, and her feelings might not make sense. Also, this is kinda AU with Neville and Ginny, her two best friends. It'll make more sense later I guess. Enjoy!**

:::::Nargles::Nargles::Nargles:::::

Screams Never Heard

Chapter 2: The Sorting Hat Doesn't Notice Insanity

I had taken the Muggle buses only once before, but never during my two year period of insanity.

Taking it, I hummed The Bird and The Worm by The Used, getting odd looks from all those on, save my father.

As soon as we got to King's Cross, I started humming Give Them A Show by The Forty Eight, and noticed a boy I recognised slightly- and knew the name of!

"Hullo, Neville!" I called to him, noticing how strange I sounded, my voice extremely hoarse from screaming, but still sounding as though calling from a long distance.

"Luna!" He cried, sounding relieved. We started talking and boarded the train, laughing loads. " I wonder if Harry and Ron are here yet..." Neville frowned, looking around. "Hermione!" He shouted, waving at a brunette. "This is my friend, Luna. Luna, Hermione," Neville introduced, shifting slightly.

"Hullo," I told Hermione airily. "I'm an old friend of Neville's."

Hermione smiled and stuck out her hand for me to shake. "I'm in his House and year. Are you in first?" I nodded, shaking her hand. "I heard all about you when Neville would write. It was all about how lovely and nice and smart you were!"

She blushed, her hair moving to cover her face a bit.

She went to go sit with some girls from her year, and a red-headed girl stumbled in with two mischievous looking red haired identical twins.

Turns out they were Fred and George Weasley (fourth years), with Ginevra Weasley(my year). They conversed with Neville for a while, but then Ginevra came over to me.

"Hullo, Ginevra," I told her softly.

"It's Ginny, Luna," she replied just as soft, causing us both to giggle. We then talked about everything- family, boys, school, emotions.

And then we arrived at school, the scariest thing for us girls, who didn't want to be separated.

And we went over to the boats, staring at the castle, then glancing at each other. Oh how much I wished Mum were alive now, I would pull out a letter to write her on the way there. But Ginny was there. She was like a sister, and I felt so calm- as calm as I felt with Neville, like nothing happened on that horrid day two years ago.

:::::Nargles::Nargles::Nargles:::::

"Lovegood, Luna!"

I ran up to the podium, scared into my fit, and put the hat on.

"Luna, my dear," said the hat to me in a gentle voice, "you're beautiful like your mother. Her genius, her brilliance, is yours. But you also share that bravery... That wonderful ability to carry on whenever and try to make it all lovely at all costs, even your own life. You live for everyone. Any death you take upon as your fault- that's not only the accident's effects, Luna. I want to put you in Gryffindor... But you must let brilliant minds surround your own. Remember you belong to Gryffindor just as much as Neville, Luna, as I place you in RAVENCLAW!"

The last word was shouted, and I was saddened. Scurrying off, I fought away tears and screams that struggled to surface.

I are very little, a few tears escaping into the food I did eat. If only I argued with the Hat and tried to stay with Neville and Ginny- I knew no one here would be kind.

And I was right. That first night was torture. I fell into a fitful sleep, only to wake up screaming with glares from my roommates and the girls who ran in at the noise. Embarrassed, I refused to sleep anymore, and got ready early in the morning with exhaustion and no energy.

I didn't feel up to breakfast with people, and skipped it to wander the castle alone.

I found an empty room and closed the door, adding a locking charm I picked up a year ago.

"Muffliato," I whispered as a precaution, before the tears spilled over and I started screaming.

I banged my fists on the ground, clawed at the walls, slammed my head on the door, all because I was insane.

But I guess someone heard me anyway, because so sooner than five minutes into my reckless stupor did someone unlock the door with a counter- charm, and try to stop me.

I punched them, hit them, struggled and kicked to no prevail.

They dragged me out as soon as I lost all energy and fell limp.

:::::Nargles::Nargles::Nargles:::::

Neville's P.O.V.

"Longbottom! What are you doing?" Shrieked Professor McGonagal.

"Professor, Luna's an old friend. I- over the summer, we had been at my house when she started screaming, so I knew when I heard screams that it was her! I was going to take her to the Hospital Wing, she hurt herself really badly," I replied quietly, scared. I actually knew Luna's predicament- she told me after I saw her screaming.

And it horrified me. It was just like my parents- but she had to fit in, she had a sliver of sanity that was the only thing people noticed. And so she reformed into this Luna that escaped to herself for more of a curse.

Luna had to heard screams in her head so often, I feel like a Cruciatus Curse wouldn't affect her at all.

I had to protect little Luna.

No one else would.

:::::Nargles::Nargles::Nargles:::::

Luna's POV

"Get up, we have classes to attend to, Drama Queen," muttered some girl standing beside the stark white bed I was in.

I didn't think any of it. Some girl from my dormitory was stuck with the role of helping me. I just hope word wasn't around the whole castle.

She led me to our first class, Transfiguration.

Professor McGonagall was the teacher. I could tell she knew, she had the glint in her eye as she looked at me- the glint of guilt, sorrow, pity.

My least favourite glint.

:::::Nargles::Nargles::Nargles:::::

**A/N: Sorry again for the delay. I'll try to post tomorrow or the day after! Thanks for reading, please review!**

**-Marine**


	4. Chapter 3: A Letter Explained It All

Screams Never Heard  
Chapter 3: A Letter Explained It All

**A/N: Sorry it ran a little late, but I put in loads of work. I won't be able to update until Saturday AT LEAST. Also, thanks to all those who've reviewed so far! Especially 'whoa' AKA Arianne or clickherequick. Thanks so much! I hope you all enjoy, please review!**

Disclaimer: If I owned the Harry Potter series, I would not have written this the way I did.

WARNING: DEPRESSING AND MENTIONS OF SUICIDE AND ABUSE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!  
  
:::::Nargles::Nargles::Nargles:::::

Sitting in the Great Hall one morning a week later, an owl came in to me with a fairly large, square package.

My dad wrote a note at the top saying:

_Dear Luna,  
I was looking through a pile of junk when I found this wooden box of your mother's. An envelope taped on was addressed to you.  
Sincerely,  
Dad_

After reading his note, I decided to run the box up to my dorm and hide it to open later.

:::::Nargles::Nargles::Nargles:::::

Now, to say I was a model student was way overstating it. I was just... There. No one noticed me- only Neville, Ginny, and Professor McGonagall.

So when I was distracted all day, it went unacknowledged._Good for me_, I though sarcastically.

And then, when I skipped dinner, everyone overlooked it.

But the distance was comfortable. And very welcoming. More so than any awkward silence I would endure with anyone and everyone.

So, while I was comfortably alone in my dormitory, I opened my package.

Inside was my mother's dark, mahogany jewellery box. Whenever I remembered it, it would have a glass rectangle on top, with a stained glass pattern of blue, purple, and green flowers.

But over the glass rectangle was a thick envelope with my name written in my mother's small, cramped hand writing.

_**Luna**_

I split it open neatly, as Mum had taught me years ago.

She had written a fairly long letter inside.

:::::Nargles::Nargles::Nargles:::::

**_My dear Luna,  
If you are reading this, I suspect I have 'kicked the bucket', as some Muggles say.  
_**  
**_I left this because I am trying the Living Nightmare spell. It is easily mispronounced, and the effects can be lethal._**

My sweet Luna, I want you to get this when it is appropriate, for it may explain much and fill any gaps.

I'm sorry, armour*, for my death. I guess I shouldn't do this, but I...

Luna, mon** Cherie***, I go into this knowing of my death. And I hold out, mon armour, because you are the only thing that is bearable from life. All I have is you... And your father recently crossed the line so as to a point where not even you could fix it.

Cherie, he has recently sunk so low as to physically abusing me. I wish you could have a better life, and maybe my passing will knock your father to his senses, to loving you like I do.

Live for me, Luna, for I cannot live for myself.

I love you, Luna. More than anything.

I may have been a horrible mother. I was never cut out fir motherhood, but I was blessed with you and-

And now I'm giving you up.

I love you, mon armour.

Will I have done enough to give you a good life? Did I leave a good mark? Was it enough?

I hope.

My love for Muggle sings has a reason, Luna. It is for us.

For there is a line in 'When You're Gone' by an artist called 'Avril Lavigne' that songs:

When you walk away  
I count the steps that you take

I hope that as I leave, my numbered steps can be counted and followed. That I am always close enough to assist you.

I am always there, Cherie. And I am forever in sorrow.

I love you with all my heart,

Je t'aime****,

Love from all my heart,

Lucie Poppy Lovegood

:::::Nargles::Nargles::Nargles:::::

I started crying. I was so torn between my emotions. Anger, happiness, sadness, bitterness.

It was horrid.

I laughed weakly at my mother's signature. Normal, cursive 'Lucie' with the 'i' dotted by a heart. Then, a cursive, capital 'P' with a cursive 'oppy' in the loop. My favourite part was the Lovegood. She drew a big heart and would write, in cursive, 'Love' inside. Connecting to the 'Love' on he outside was a cursive 'good'. It was just... Mum's.

Then I just cried. Out of bitterness, out of gladness, out of anger, out if sorrow.

I was feeling everything a girl could at once. Even jealousy!

Anger- _she_ left _me_, she basically committed suicide, Father was abusing her

Bitterness- _she _made me like this because wanted to die, _she_selfishly left me alone in the world**  
**  
Gladness- she would always love me, I have a piece of her, she apologised, I had closure

Jealousy- _she_ got out and _I_can't_. _

And then the sorrow took over. She was truly gone, and I was as good as parent less with how horrible Father is.

I started sobbing. Too much, it was all too much. Overload, overwhelmed...

After it all soaked in, I took the jewellery box and letter, and went to a room on the seventh floor across from the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy.

The room was my favourite room of every room ever. No one else ever came in, so it was very private.

The walls were bookshelves full of every book imaginable- Muggle fiction to Wizarding history to Shakespeare Muggle plays.

On the floor was a low bed pushed into the corner holding a few quilts and pillows. There was a table in the centre with quills, ink bottles, blank leather-bound journals, candles, and other miscellaneous things.

Often, in this past week, I would disappear here, when I felt a melt down coming on, or was particularly hurt or something.

I sat on the bed, cross legged, and balanced the box across my lap, setting the letter next to me.

I bit my lip, nervous of what Mum might have left I the box. I was also excited- I mean, who wouldn't be? Your dead mother left you her treasured, mysterious jewellery box and a letter. What could be in the box?

Taking a deep breath, I unlatched the lock, easing the lid up slowly, patiently.

And I soon became winded, sitting as though Stunned, looking in at what Mum left for me.

:::::Nargles::Nargles::Nargles:::::

_*** French for 'love'  
** French for 'my'  
*** French for 'dear'  
**** French for 'I love you'**_

**A/N: Review! Please tell me what you thought, and if you have any ideas! Feel free to PM me! Thank you for reading,  
-Marine**


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